Wednesday, May 30, 2012

"Most Talkative: Stories from the Front Lines of Pop Culture" by Andy Cohen

Synopsis - (from

The man behind the Real Housewives writes about his lifelong love affair with pop culture that brought him from the suburbs of St. Louis to his own television showFrom a young age, Andy Cohen knew one thing: He loved television. Not in the way that most kids do, but in an irrepressible, all-consuming, I-want-to-climb-inside-the-tube kind of way. And climb inside he did. Now presiding over Bravo's reality TV empire, he started out as an overly talkative pop culture obsessive, devoted to Charlie's Angels and All My Children and to his mother, who received daily letters from Andy at summer camp, usually reminding her to tape the soaps. In retrospect, it's hard to believe that everyone didn't know that Andy was gay; still, he remained in the closet until college. Finally out, he embarked on making a career out of his passion for television. The journey begins with Andy interviewing his all-time idol Susan Lucci for his college newspaper and ends with him in a job where he has a hand in creating today's celebrity icons. In the witty, no-holds-barred style of his show Watch What Happens Live, Andy tells tales of absurd mishaps during his ten years at CBS News, hilarious encounters with the heroes and heroines of his youth, and the real stories behind The Real Housewives. Dishy, funny, and full of heart, Most Talkative provides a one-of-a-kind glimpse into the world of television, from a fan who grew up watching the screen and is now inside it, both making shows and hosting his own.


Rating - 5 out of 5

Genre - Biography

I do not give usual reviews spewing the content of the book I've just read. I do tell how I felt about the book and if I enjoyed it or not.

I would not have bought this book and I actually didn't. I received it for Mother's Day from my kids. I do watch some of the Housewives shows and other Bravo television shows. My husband was listening to Howard Stern and Andy just happened to be on that day promoting this book. My husband thought I would like it, so, I got it as a gift.

I enjoyed the book immensely! Andy has had a very interesting life leading up to his fame today. I loved reading about behind the scenes that I would not have known without having read this book.

Andy has come so far from that little town he grew up in. Thanks to him, those who like Andy and the Bravo shows, have something fun to watch.

I recommend this book to anyone who loves (even likes just a little) Andy Cohen and/or Bravo shows. Without Andy, we wouldn't have some of the good shows we see on Bravo today. Even if you dislike Andy, give it a read. You will find that you may respect him, on some level, even if you still dislike him or the shows.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

"Brain Cheese Buffet" by Edward Lee

Synopsis – (from

You've seen Cannibal Holocaust. You've seen Salo. You've seen Nekromantik. You ain't seen shit Zombie prostitutes, religious rapists, horny werewolves, death by vomit, and sexual fetishes scraped off the sidewalk. From sex prisons to mafia torture chambers, hold on tight because you're about to enter the perverted and twisted mind of Edward Lee. Once you've seen what he has to show you - there's no coming back. Brain Cheese Buffet collects nine of Lee's most sought after tales of violence and body fluids. Featuring the Stoker nominated "Mr. Torso," the legendary gross-out piece "the Dritiphilist," the notorious "The McCrath Model SS40-C, Series S," and six more stories to test your gag reflex.


Rating – 4 ½ out of 5

Genre – Horror, Splatterpunk

I do not do reviews to re-tell or summarize what I have just read. My reviews offer what I think about book and the story(ies) within them. If you are looking for a summary or complete re-tell, do not bother reading any further.

Let me just say I love Edward Lee. His twistedness suits my style so perfectly! He always leaves me saying, “Oh man, I could totally envision that in my head clear as day.” Yes, I may be considered a sicko for that ability, but who cares. His books are fun! The stories he colors for me in my mind allow me to get away from everyday horrors such as politics and incessant babble from idiots living with and around me on Earth. 

Brain Cheese Buffet is a nice little collection of stories. They are all typical Edward Lee and I loved every grotesque moment within.

~Mr. Torso~

Hillbilly-speak tends to get boring to read after awhile, but it still remains fun in that the disgusting nature of the story is still in the forefront.

Lud (a.k.a Mr. Torso) is completely disgusting. The things he does to these women are utterly unbelievable. I asked myself several times through this particular story how exactly one would even conceive of pulling off some of the things done. Edward Lee’s vivid descriptions encapsulate your imagination with very specific details. At one point I caught myself saying out loud, “AAAghhhh!! What the…..” Incorporating a religious aspect to the story was also done with zany wickedness.

Ahh Lee, so far, you’ve yet to disappoint me!

~Mrs. Torso~

Let’s do some math here boys and girls. Mafia plus torture plus a hooker-junkie with no arms or legs named Spooky plus Wet-Naps equals what the f*^&ery!

How can anyone pass up a chance to read about the mafia doing illegal stuff? This is way beyond any mafia behind-the-scenes you have experienced on television or the movies. It truly is no-holds-barred with this freaky hooker-junkie. For those wondering, no she doesn’t simply lay there and get got by these mafia-men. She has quite the mouth on her and boy oh boy it sure does get her in trouble. The vile things they do to her are pretty sickening, but this is an Edward Lee book after all!! The ending leaves a quirky smirk on my face. All I will say is, if you are going to do something, make sure you do it right the first time.

This is another goodie.

~Grub Girl in the Prison of Dead Women~

I must say immediately that I am not a zombie type of person. Zombies bore me to death and the only two zombie movies I enjoy are the original “Night of the Living Dead” and “Zombieland”. (I have a soft-spot for Woody Harrelson.) I do not purposely read zombie books either.

As you have guessed, this little story is about zombies. The only thing that captured my attention was the variation Lee used for the zombies (grubs as they are called in the story). He went into detail about the exact food they can eat and what would happen if they ate anything other than raw food. In my mind, the story was plausible if a zombie apocalypse did really happen. It was refreshing from the usual, “brains!!” stereotype.

He also went into detail about sex and the detention center they get sent to if they get out of line. They were basically like humans, but dead and free of disease. It was the detention center that drew me in further. The things that occurred there were unsavory to say the least. Once inside there is, as usual, some douche bag, who is big and bad. The one guy who thinks he is high and almighty. He was almighty alright…almighty sorry.

This was a fun read despite it being about zombies.

~The Dritiphilist~

This story made me look away quite a few times in absolute disgust. I found myself saying, “Ackk!! Ugh!!! Oh God!” out loud. I do not get grossed out easily, but this story was pretty awful. The story was great, but the content was simply disturbing.

Fetishes are something of the norm these days. No, most of them are still hidden from public view, but everyone knows they exist somewhere in the dark corner of people’s imaginations (or in some cases secret rooms in their homes). If you dare read this story, you will be invited into one man’s fetish. Just thinking about it makes me throw up in my mouth a little. At least his therapist could appreciate that.

I liked this story simply for the gross-out factor. It was completely and utterly grotesque. I hope no one I know has this fetish because I might have to rethink our friendship. I just couldn’t sit and look at them the same ever again.

You noticed how I haven’t said what the fetish is? That is because I would love to surprise you with how disgusting it is. Sometimes not knowing before you read makes it an even better read. I had no idea before reading it and I am glad. It made for such a more hardcore experience sitting on my bed reading.

Keep the grotesque coming Lee. You haven’t disgusted me enough….yet!

~The Mother~

What if you found discarded sludge in the lake behind your house? I think I would sell my house and move elsewhere. It would be the right thing to do. I also wouldn’t allow anyone I knew near it.

Nightmares of this sludge contaminating a family could cause anyone to go insane. Did the dad really just see what he saw or was it a nightmare? Who’s to say! Either way it is completely gross.

What if you have children who get into the sludge? There is just no good way to explain to a child that some people are dumbasses and like to litter. Sometimes the litter they leave behind is not good for people to be around. Nightmares would be a nightly occurrence.

What if the nightmares weren’t bedtime nightmares at all, but a real life nightmare happening to your family? Could you handle it? Would you fight it?

I asked a lot of questions for my review. There is just no good way to review this story without giving important details away. It would ruin the fun at the end! I don’t want to ruin the fun for you!

This story isn’t as gross as other Edward Lee stories, but it is pretty interesting to see where it is heading.

~The Wrong Guy~

This story was great. It wasn’t incredibly gross, but revenge is awesome! There is nothing like a good revenge story. I really do not care who it is against and someone somewhere is wishing/planning theirs. If you read this story, you get to see what happens when the act of revenge is played out in spectacular detail. Yes, it gets a bit goofy here and there, but hey, we need a little goofy with our grotesque sometimes.

This was fun to read and I didn’t feel too dirty at the end!

~The Baby~

If you have kids and/or are sensitive, please do not read this story. You will be completely ruined for life and probably a little pissed off. I generally do not read gory stories with little kids in them because I am sensitive to them. When I started this story I didn’t know something foul would involve a baby to the extent it did. I got through it though.

This story made me gag a little too. Not because of the story itself, but because of some of the imagery Lee describes. There are just some things that I do not need to picture. I am absolutely sure you will feel the same. I wish I had some eye bleach to unsee what I read in certain points. I guess if I did that, the story would not make sense!

The story overall was decent. I loved the ending with my entire blackened heart!

~The McCrath Model SS40-C, Series S~

I read, “She’ll have to eat it….otherwise she’ll drown.” Oh mafia guys, how I love thee. How many other ways can you find to torture people? Lee found another way and it is completely disturbing. I think if I were to torture someone I would totally use the McCrath Model SS40-C, Series S. What a handy tool! This planet would be a lot less polluted with BS with it in my hands.

This is a fabulously wicked story with a nice ending. Now, don’t think Lee’s books have nice endings (as in oh what a happy ending that was), but it does have a spectacular case of revenge at the end. It left me cheering for the mafia boss.

I definitely recommend this story to those with twisted minds.


Brain Cheese Buffet is a great book of short stories by Edward Lee. If you are looking for a variety of stories that are quick to read, this is the book for you. If you are not into the grotesquely disturbing, this is a never-read. Edward Lee doesn’t paint rainbows and unicorns imagery in his books. Although, if he did, there would be some sort of torture porn incorporating the unicorn’s horn into some hooker’s hoo-haa and out her mouth. Ouch!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

"The Cannibals of Candyland" by Carlton Mellick III

Synopsis - (from

There exists a race of cannibals who are made out of candy. They live in an underground world filled with lollipop forests and gumdrop goblins. During the day, while you are away at work, they come above ground and prowl our streets for food. Their prey: your children. They lure young boys and girls to them with their sweet scent and bright colorful candy coating, then rip them apart with razor sharp teeth and claws. When he was a child, Franklin Pierce witnessed the death of his siblings at the hands of a candy woman with pink cotton candy hair. Since that day, the candy people have become his obsession. He has spent his entire life trying to prove that they exist. And after discovering the entrance to the underground world of the candy people, Franklin finds himself venturing into their sugary domain. His mission: capture one of them and bring it back, dead or alive.


Rating - 5 out of 5

Genre - Erotic Horror

I placed this book in my to-read shelf at I loved the cover art and the whole premise of the story itself. I was actually waiting for it to become available for my Nook Color. After having waited nearly a year, I gave in and finally just bought the paperback. I am so happy I did!

I thoroughly enjoyed the silliness and horrifying aspects of this book. Mellick took an idea from a board game we all know and twisted it into a sickening adult read. I must add that there are no characters in the book from the actual game. It is just the idea of turning a fun game into a place of horrors. Can you just imagine candy people running around eating people? I think that would be scary. Although, I might be laughing like I did as I read this book.

This silly yet horrific book gave me a certain demented pleasure while reading it. It held my attention with its simplicity of something that is kid-like, but added a whole other level of "Did I just read that?!" I found myself laughing through most of the book.

This book is not for anyone who is looking for a serious horror book. It is very lighthearted. There are points in the book that may be considered horrific, but it is written in a way that keeps your eyes glued to the book.

I recommend this book to anyone looking for a quick, fun read. It was very entertaining.

"Afraid" by Jack Kilborn

Synopsis – (from

Welcome to Safe Haven, Wisconsin. Miles from everything, with one road in and out, this peaceful town has never needed a full-time police force. Until now...

A helicopter has crashed near Safe Haven and unleashed something horrifying. Now this merciless force is about to do what it does best. Isolate. Terrorize. Annihilate. As residents begin dying in a storm of gory violence, Safe Haven’s only chance for survival will rest with an aging county sheriff, a firefighter, and a single mom. And each will have this harrowing thought: Maybe death hasn’t come to their town by accident...


Rating: 0 out of 5

Genre: Horror

I must admit immediately that I did not finish this book. I started it at the end of July of 2011!

This book was so awful that I would rather peel my nails from my fingers with pliers rather than consider opening it back up to try and complete it. It was like riding in a station wagon with the windows up and a stinky dog breathing his dog-breath in your face for ten hours. Yes, that is correct. I hated this book with every ounce of my being.

The story started out with promise. There was a cool mystery about the "merciless force" that had appeared in this cozy town. The bad part of that is that the author kept running in circles. I felt like I was reading the same thing over and over again. I was wanting a change-up somewhere along the line, but was sorely disappointed.

I was able, with struggles, to get to the middle of the book. At that point, I simply had to stop reading it. I was so incredibly bored that I wanted to slam my Nook Color into the street so I wouldn't have to subject myself to anymore torture.

I have read some other books by Kilborn (JA Konrath) and those were up to my standards. This book was so below those standards I feel I was raped with an elbow macaroni. Wrap your head around that one!

I cannot in good conscience recommend this book to anyone other than to those who like repetitive situations. It saddens me that I wasted my money on this book and more time.